Tomorrow I have an appointment with my ob., it will be my VERY last with her- uggh I cant stand the lady, and I plan on walking over the the hospital next door and getting all my medical records, THAT way, when drs ask me "how was this not seen? did you have prenatal care at all?" I can show them all of the ultrasound photos and info. I'd like to know for my own peice of mind too, if this could have been seen. (the diaphragmatic hernia). The appointment couldnt have come at a better time, I am starting to really feel the impact of everything that is going on in my life, and its wearing me down rather quickly! : my best friend moved to the other side of town, and I cant see her nearly as often as Im used to, in fact, because we have both been so busy I havent even really talked to her. The sad thing is, I dont have the energy to care about anyone else right now! I am emotionally exhausted from everything and especially from the child support thing. I have basically cut myself off from everyone because I have a hard time listening or asking whats going on with them, quite frankly, I dont care right now. I am very sad at how hard it is for me to leave to do anything because of the oxygen and monitors! I know it wont be forever, but right now it's killin me. Expecially because my mom is scared to really watch her unless she is sleeping.
So, Im ready to get this week over with, all the appointments and things, and relax a little! And I cant wait to get this child support over and done with. Its a subject that breaks my heart every friggin time I think about it. Oh, and I am going to talk to my pediatrician tomorrow about a revised vaccines schedule!
I saw this on someone elses blog- where they would write what they were grateful for at the end of it, and I am SO copying their idea :0)
<3 Grateful for:
*Gods many gifts to me, strength being one big one!
*My parents support
*The very few people who ask how I AM
*Friends who are considerate of what I'm going through and try to help me by getting me out of the house!
*and God :0) again.