Friday, May 14, 2010
First Night All Alone!
She also has bad reflux ( because of the CDH) so the positions in which I feed her in are all trial and error as well, she seems to get sick when I sit her in the little vibrating bouncer chair, and if I hang her milk too high she gets sick, but if I hang it too low it takes so long to go in that its just not realisitic.. Meaning, if I hang it at a low heighth (the milk flows by gravity) then it could take over an hour to fill her belly up, and its only 2 1/2 oz, that just doesnt seem realistic... practice and patience. Thats all I can say!
We go back to the pedi. on monday, she has to have her thyroid levels checked, I pray with alllll my heart that nothing has changed and that they are good, and she is supposed to get her 2month vaccines... I NEED INPUT HERE! Before I got pregnant, and when I was pregnant I was very weary of vaccinations- Now, Im not ignorant on the subject, I have read and read and researched. During my pregnancy I decided I would pick and choose which vaccines I got for her, and when- maybe not getting them all at the same time, or cutting the doses in half... AND NOW THE TIME HAS COME! I DO want to get the vaccines, but she has been through so much recently and hasnt even gotten a chance for her immune system to build up... I am breast feeding, which will help tremendously, but I'd just hate to get the vaccines and raise her chance for infection... I dont know- I need to pull out my books again before monday and make a decision!
She and I were supposed to go to a child support meeting Thursday, but, since her father cancelled it, we are waiting on papers to reschedule. WOW. Some system we've got! I wonder how many times this will be rescheduled... (well actually none after this one). Time for a lawyer, I dont have time to play games anymore, Im doing my best as it is, dont need one more thing nagging at my mind! I havent questioned throughout any of our journey "why", because I knew why, I knew that I could handle it, and that there was a reason and I was getting such a huge reward out of the struggle- but THIS subject, I really question WHY. Why do I have to go through this crap? I would NEVER treat anyone the way I'm being treated (or not treated)! I really wonder how someone could be so cold hearted and NOT want to be a part of this angels life. And to make us go through more crap...!? SERIOUSLY?! By the way, he's 30 years old.. should I start looking towards 50 year olds or what!?
Im finished venting now I guess- so any advice on the vaccines, let me know.. or advice on anything at that!!
Lauren n Lilli
PS- DONT FORGET ABOUT THE FUNDRAISERS- MISSYPRISSYS BOUTIQUE HAS THE CUTEST CARSEAT CANOPYS! Thanks guys :0)